Dealing with Problems

Dealing with health problems and other problems can feel overwhelming, scary, confusing and all kinds of other things.

Most of the time, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and if you can, it’s best to focus on that. And also, being pro-active can be helpful, because you are doing “something” to help yourself/your loved ones.

Recently, my mother has been in and out of the hospital, my brother is never very well and I have been having health problems of my own.

It’s difficult to not feel depressed when so many things seem to be crushing down on you, but fortunately, I am a naturally optimistic person so even when it feels like the sky is falling, something in me usually says, “No, the sky isn’t falling and things will get better… eventually. “

If you are not naturally optimistic, then it can be much harder to believe that things can and will get better. But according to some experts, with practice you can learn to be optimistic.

Experts say it takes 2 weeks to create a habit, good or bad. They say that with practice we can make healthy habits of smiling and being optimistic.

Myself, I learned at a young age that I’m a survivor, a fighter. I will not give up or back down, when I know that what I’m fighting for is right.

That’s not to say that I never doubt myself, feel overwhelmed or feel like giving up.

Actually, I have a fear of giving up, but I don’t see it happening and definitely not anytime soon.

I have some inspirational “fight songs” that I go to when I need a boost of courage.  Here are a few of them…

Hands by Jewel https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=AfsS3pIDBfw

This has been my #1 fight song for years. I love these lyrics so much and they can be applied in so many times of trouble.

These are some of the words that really help me from this song:

“If I could tell the world just one thing it would be… not to worry because worry is… useless in times like these.
I will not be made useless
I won’t be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith,
for light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know,
But they’re not yours they are my own…
And I am never broken”

It helps me immensely in times of trouble to remember that “I am never broken”. I refuse to be broken. And I am a very stubborn girl!

Fight Song by Rachel Platten https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=xo1VInw-SKc

More important than other people believing in you, is that you believe in yourself! “And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me”

These are some of the words that really help me from this song:

“And all those things I didn’t say are like Wrecking balls inside my brain.”
But
“This is my fight song
My Take back my life song,
Prove I’m alright song”

“Starting right now I’ll be strong”
“I’ll play my fight song And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me”

Sometimes, I just need to remind myself that I still have a lot of fight left!

Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down) by Chumbawamba https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI8zPbEHRl0

Besides the great English accents, I love the sentiment of this song!

“I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down”

“I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down”

“He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the best times”

If you don’t like repetition, then this song is not for you. Personally, I can identify with it because it feels like I’ve been getting knocked down all my life, but I always get up again.

Occasionally, it may take me little longer to get back up than usual, but I always get back up!

Bullet Proof by La Roux https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Kk8eJh4i8Lo

“I won’t let you in again
The messages I’ve tried to send
My information’s just not going in. This time, baby, I’ll be bulletproof”

We’ve all known those people that we’ve needed to be bullet proof against! The abusive boyfriends that kept coming back for more, the other abusive relationships that somehow keep winding us up again and again… Well, it’s time to decide to be bullet proof, baby!

A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=22zB6Soc2Gk

This song was a great help to me when I went through a devastating break up a few years ago.

I was in a relationship with a man that I was madly in love in with but he was controlling in the extreme.

He broke into all my email accounts. Policed my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts.

Discouraged me from having friends and when I did see friends demanded that I send him non stop photos for the entire time I was with them. He also demanded that I send him non stop photos of anything else that I did without him.

He had a tracker on my car and phone. Kept me waiting for him for hours (one time for 6 hours at a location where we were supposed to meet) and would deliberately start fights with me the day before holidays, birthdays and other celebrations and then use that as an excuse to not show up for the celebrations.

He would rapid fire questions at me to interrogate me when I went somewhere. Did background checks on anyone I wanted to be friends with, etc.

I finally ended the relationship after 3 years and it was absolutely one of the hardest things I ever did. It aged me terribly. I cried buckets of tears. People that didn’t understand how abusive the relationship was, because I had only ever really talked about the good things, were angry with me for breaking up with him. One of those friends, still doesn’t talk to me…but “Even on my weakest days I told myself I’d be okay and I got a little bit stronger”

These are some of the words that really help me from this song:

“I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway.
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face. I got a little bit stronger”

“and I’m done hopin’ that we could work it out
I’m done with how it feels, spinnin’ my wheels
Lettin’ you drag my heart around, and I’m done thinkin’ that you could ever change.”

“I know my heart will never be the same but I’m tellin’ myself I’ll be okay and
Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger
It doesn’t happen overnight but you turn around
And a month’s gone by and you realize you haven’t cried”

And it was true. I did get stronger. And in the end, I met a truly amazing man, in what I thought was the least likely of places, and we are immensely happy and at the same time I made wonderful new friends, who truly love me.

So, hang in there! Believe in yourself, even if others don’t, even when things feel helpless and hopeless.

Be proactive. Never give up. Practice being happy. Find a counselor that you trust.

And as William Shakespeare said “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more”